Hey Plain Jane

I am coming up for air after a long period of frantic, frantic activity. Toward what? I’m on the road to everywhere.
House stuff; looking at houses, not buying houses, renovating to sell, not ready to sell, firing architect amid disgruntled emails of mutual disappointment and frustration, hiring new architect amid serious financial flummery.
The very latest is that we are building on our land but building a take away home; that is, a kind of kit home. Amazing to think that once they begin to build the home, it will take just 12 weeks to complete. But, here’s the catch! We are in the queue. The queue is long. It could take ten weeks for them to begin our build.  

then, of course…

dossier |ˈdôsēˌā; ˈdäs-|noun a collection of documents about a particular person, event, or subject.
ORIGIN late 19th cent.: from French, denoting a bundle of papers with a label on the back, from dos ‘back,’ based on Latin dorsum.

Our “bundle of papers” made in the hope of receiving a little bundle of joy. Yes. Gathering this massive dossier of the final adoption home file to be forwarded to the Philippines adoption authorities has been a major focus. How hard could it be? Plenty hard. Most of it is now done. Just awaiting a few bibs and bobs to complete the dossier. It goes on.

When this final dossier is finally shipped off, I am told one feels enormous relief. I suspect this may be the case because once it leaves our shores and is in the hands of the Philippine adoption authority, it is out of our control. We will have said our piece, made our case, laid it all out in all its great detail. We will have reached a point where we can safely say, we did our best, we can do no more, it is with God.

I think of who might be the child waiting in the wings for us. I see pictures of Filipino children, or see young children who might be from the Philippines, and I cannot help but fantasize about them being my child. I am so nervous, so impatient, so completely excited about it, all at once.